Saturday, June 21, 2008

A Summer Prayer

Dear God,

We will be leaving for our summer break soon.

Please help me utilize all of my senses to enjoy what You have to offer.

May I meet interesting and wonderful people.

May I not be able to read them. I mean that literally. May I meet just one attractive person without a tattoo, please!

May I not fear lightning when I’m around them because of studs, rings and other vulgar forms of body piercings.

May they be beautiful and if it’s not too much to ask... please, may the women have pubic hair?


Thursday, February 21, 2008

Icky creatures in need of squashing

I’ve been putting this off for quite a while but I need to air my views about a slimy, idiotic, repulsive breed called racists. In South Africa it does not take much for them to come out of the woodwork. Just give them a crisis and out they pop. They have now become so bold that they even venture out of their closed newsgroups onto forums usually reserved for sane people. Any criticism of the government or ANC leadership somehow leads these creatures to believe that they have a green light to spew forth their hate speech.

According to their pedestrian reasoning you automatically become “one of them” just because you address the shortcomings of political leaders. That really makes my skin crawl. They just don’t get it. I do not deal with race in my criticism. I do not believe in white supremacy or black inferiority and I would like to see them and their kind forced to colonise Jupiter without the luxury of spacesuits. They make me want to embark on a severe bout of projectile vomiting and make me ashamed of being “white”.

But why are they so bold? What makes the White Trash feel safe to express their nauseating views and opinions? How can they be so unrepentant?

On average, white people in South Africa believe that just knowing someone that voted yes in the referendum in 1992 is enough of an apology for apartheid. There I have said it. Very few have really confronted the fact that they allowed a monstrous system to inflict inhuman suffering on millions of their fellow citizens. Fewer still have apologized for this or mended their ways. Most just shrug it off as something that was done by others. They do not seem to realize how lucky they were to get off so lightly.

Nothing was done to make them change their views after 1994 and the Truth and Reconciliation Commission is to blame. Or rather political deals struck behind the scenes and implemented by the TRC are to blame.

Yes, once more I am accusing that sub-human species called politicians for this state of affairs.

Why could the military walk away unscarred when it is a known fact that some of the worst atrocities were committed by its members? Was there a fear of an uprising and that one part of the security forces was left free to walk in case their services would be needed? Was it because the military was in possession of information that could compromise some leading members of the new dispensation? Was it because the military still carried so much clout that the plans for a coup were still on the table? One can but speculate.

In my mind there is absolutely no doubt that the military was left off the hook because of some behind-the-scene political manoeuvring.

That is the only reason the military could get away with their atrocities committed in other countries including the Bantustans. Senior ANC officials could not allow scrutiny of their actions and activities inflicted on their own in penal battalions amongst other things. That is why the scope of the TRC got narrowed down to investigate only atrocities committed within the borders of South Africa. A convenient way to keep the ANC’s atrocities in places like Angola under wraps. The fact that a deeper investigation into atrocities could have led to the exposure of spies, agents and double-agents of the Apartheid regime is also of some relevance here.

The biggest failure of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission of South Africa was and will always be the message subconsciously sent to the white population of South Africa:

“It is OK. You can carry on living your lives as before and take no notice of our proceedings.”

Failure to investigate and prosecute known perpetrators and murderers created a comfort-zone for the average white South African. If known and self-confessed murderers did not get prosecuted, why on Earth then should the whites change their opinions and attitudes when it comes to the issues of race and humanity? No-one ever felt any heat for being part of a racist society for decades. No stick or carrot was used to encourage a change of their way of life after democracy was introduced. It got treated with more or less indifference and life just went on as before.

A grave injustice was done to the population of South Africa by not utilising the full potential of the TRC. ANC politicians are as much to blame for the fact that racism is still alive and well in my country as the ones that fought for and supported the cause of Apartheid. They were in too much of a hurry to get on the gravy-train.

Callous indifference towards the plight of your electorate is just as despicable as gross violations of human rights.

*Excerpts from Africa Will Always Break Your heart used.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008

Newsflash! Intercept of CIA briefing

See we told President Kennedy that commie bastard would not last in Cuba.

Rainbow Nation and other Illusions

A rainbow does not exist. It is an optical illusion. A magic trick of Mother Nature beautiful to behold but that’s the only way you can experience it.

The same applies for the Rainbow Nation of South Africa as it’s an illusion and just window-dressing for the rest of the world. It remains a dream and a tangible thing it is not. Anyone who states differently is lying. They are bullshitting and they all know it. Still, they would rather die than admit to failure. They will patronizingly tell you that they are busy with “nation-building” while they widely practice racism and bigotry. Theirs is a noble quest not to be questioned. Especially not by the likes of me that decided to leave because I prefer not to be murdered by criminals. You see, according to them, plain common sense now equates a traitor and racist. Because I opted to leave South Africa when the opportunity was offered I am a bad, very bad person. The ones that do not have the means or opportunity are now acting as if they are exercising free will and choice by staying. Therefore they should be praised for bravery and noble actions as they are the ones who are busy with nation-building.

Show me someone that turned down the opportunity to leave and I will show you a severe comprehension disability.

This however does not stop the condescending prigs who try to patronize me by telling me that they are too busy with their noble quest to acknowledge the likes of me. Where do you come from when treating me like rubbish? Because I dared to leave South Africa I get depicted as a racist traitor by the snot-nosed spawn of some bleeding heart lefty liberal lunatics who should have known better than to procreate. The fruit of their loins is ample proof that they should have travelled to Swaziland for that back-room abortion they discussed and considered at the time.

The illusion does not end there. Rather than to admit that they are gullible fools who fell for the cons of their appointed leaders, a large part of the population will fiercely attack anyone who criticizes the said political leaders. All of a sudden “respect” is the most important facet defined by the spirit of Ubuntu. The ones who dare to point out that politicians actually steal and are criminally incompetent apparently do not understand this weird culture.

Cut the crap, people! It is not that difficult to admit that you have been conned. And don’t tell me that I do not understand your culture. There is nothing mysterious about African culture anymore. We have not travelled back in time to the days of the first explorers of the Dark Continent. If your culture preaches that one must have respect for criminals and incompetent idiots then I do not want to know about it. A culture like that is backward and inferior and don’t call me a racist because I am stating a fact. How dare you put an argument like that forward and expect the rest of the civilized world to take you serious? Grow up! Criticism of the ANC is not treason, as preached by the leaders of the organization. It is just a ploy to ensure large numbers of blind followers.

I will probably be crucified for this article. Maybe I should leave comments about that hellhole to those who feel prone to massive coronary or to the ones that like to wallow in self-deception because whichever way I turn, in the eyes of many I will always have my foot in my mouth.

A fact that I’m strangely comfortable with…

It is after all better than living in total denial.

Sunday, February 10, 2008

It might not be a crappy idea...

David Bullard’s blog about the ANC and their fondness of glorifying the struggle heroes, past and present really got my creative juices flowing. Of course the ANC has all the right in the world to rename streets, cities, airports etc. They are after all the glorious conquerors of apartheid. History will always be written by the victorious.

However, the electorate is under siege. The people have very little to smile about and the ANC leadership is rapidly sliding into disfavour. Something can and should be done about this.

I would herewith like to submit a few ideas to the ANC on how to popularize the current leadership once more. I ask for nothing in return but would not frown upon a presidential pardon coming my way.

Instead of erecting statues at great cost and pissing off people with name changes I would like to suggest the following:

  • · A range of small (approx 5 cm high) lead figurines should be fabricated. This should include the most prominent ANC leaders and the range can later be expanded as dictated by demand.
  • · These figurines should be heavy enough as not to flush away in a toilet and should be made available at every street corner, cafe, supermarket, chain store and exclusive boutique i.e. everywhere. Hell, ownership of at least two figurines should be subsidized as to be made compulsory.
  • · The consumer/electorate can then decide which figurine to place at the bottom of their toilet so that the household can do to it what birds normally do to statues.
  • · The figurines can be changed at regular intervals to ensure that the whole leadership gets a chance to serve at the bottom of the throne.
  • · Toilets in restaurants and other public places must include the full spectrum as to give the patron a free choice. (Go with the flow)

People can then have something to smile about once more.

Even potty training can become fun…”Come honey, do a Manto for mommy.”

During load shedding a phosphorous coated figure of Alec Erwin or Eskom management can take one’s mind off the uncalled for hardship.

On second thoughts…I’m going to patent this idea to be used on all politicians the world over

Thursday, February 7, 2008

A time for prayer

O, God!

Despite a great many prayers to You we are continually losing our wars. Tomorrow we shall again be fighting a battle that is truly great. With all our might we need Your help and that is why I must tell You something: This battle tomorrow is going to be a serious affair. There will be no place for children. Therefore I must ask You not to send Your Son to help us. Come Yourself.

The prayer of Koq, leader of the Griquas tribe, before a battle with the Afrikaners in 1876.

Sunday, January 27, 2008

I don’t intend moving

I have a wonderful view from my home office window. I often catch myself daydreaming and staring at the park and the wooded area with up-market housing in the distance.

Today the view is absolutely breathtaking. Everything is green. It is a bright sunny day without any breeze blowing. One can tell from the motionless national flags that most fly with pride. The temperature is about 7 degrees Celsius as it has been every day for the past couple of weeks. People are out in numbers enjoying the wonderful weather and flora. Apparently the wild mushrooms are available in abundance. Roses are budding in the Southern part of this country, lovely!

So what is wrong with this picture?

It is Jan 27th, 2008, in the middle of winter in Stockholm.

The snow should be at least a meter thick with an average temperature of minus 12 to minus 15 degrees Celsius. (Minus 25 degrees Celsius is not uncommon for this time of year)

It should also be grey and overcast as almost to be dark.

Is this global warming?

Indeed it is! In our lifetime we are reaping the result of our rape of the planet. This is not some theoretical prediction that can be shrugged off as a matter concerning the future generations. Something needs to be done now.

My need to address global warming is a bit more selfish.

I still need to try out the boots I bought last year. I will look really stupid if I was to wear Arctic clothing without snow on the ground.

In only 5 years things have taken a turn for the worse. Boots and thermal underwear that was very much needed at the time, are now laughing in my face.

I am not complaining. According to a study Scandinavian countries stand to benefit the most from global warming.

As for the rest of the world, just spread your legs and bend over…

Long Live the Dead

I decided to become a spokesperson for the dead. We hear too little from them. They get exploited by so-called mediums as well as TV-personalities and nobody deems it fit to challenge their point of view. Enough I say. From now on I will fight for the rights of our dearly departed and endeavor to make exploitation of the said group as unfashionable as seal clubbing. They have basic rights to decency and privacy, something that everyone seems to ignore.

I find it immensely satisfying that my grandparents and parents are now being exposed as blatant bloody liars. They were the ones that repeatedly told me that no such thing as “ghosts” exist and I knew all along that they were lying. (I’ll bet anything that they were silently shit-scared themselves when telling me not to be silly)

I’ve always been a little bit fey and have grown used to my “friends” showing up at all times and hanging around, reading over my shoulder when I type. The telltale signs of activity is normally associated with a sudden drop in temperature (I physically shiver) and the hairs on the back of my neck rising. Whenever this happens I just casually say “hi” and have yet to get an answer back. It does not matter. I feel their presence and seldom feel threatened as most are not malevolent entities. When I do feel threatened I firmly tell them to leave me alone and that have worked until now. I believe they have manners.

What really gets my goat are these dumb pricks on TV asking spirits to either give them a sign or show themselves. Can’t they realize that a request like that is about as on par as an Earthling accepting an invitation from a bunch of Aliens to come for an anal probe? Would you go willingly for such an encounter? I sure as hell would decline.

Leave the dead alone. They guard over us.

Thursday, January 17, 2008

Time flies when you’re having fun


I’m back.

I wish I had a sexy excuse like participating in a campaign of rolling mass action to bring a dictatorship to its knees forcing it not only to the negotiation table but also towards democratic elections and implementation of basic human rights. Mass-action that includes but is not restricted to; civil-disobedience, consumer boycotts, strikes, stay-aways, protest marches and yes, limited armed action. In effect a low-level civil-war that takes up all of one’s time and keeps one away from cyberspace.

However, I do not have that excuse. I suffered from SAD (winter depression) and also had a major computer crash which made me decide to hell with it all. I thus went into a lazy sulk and could not be bothered to try and network or keep in touch with my friends. (I lost more than 200 gigabyte of music that was not backed up anywhere else. We are talking about 33000 albums so it’s no wonder I’m a bit fed-up. More than 80% of it was old rock and roll that one cannot find anymore.)

Revolutionary activity sounds so much sexier than just goofing off. I’m therefore sticking with participation in mass-action as excuse for my absence.

I made no New Year’s resolutions. Why bother? I gave up both drinking and smoking in 2007 and will not consider celibacy as yet. I will also not make any predictions as its common knowledge that the planet is totally fucked-up by humans who just do not care a rat’s arse about the future. Any prophecy of doom will thus be accurate to some extent.

I will just carry on with my old quest of trying to be as truthful and kind to the woman in my life and try to love my children more. That is an achievable goal and the only one I live by. I’m done with trying to change the world.

I’m also going to try and sell more books. The reason why I blog is to sell books. If you do not have a copy yet, follow these links, and buy the damn thing:

UK and Europe


South Africa

I’m also available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and numerous others.

With my next post I’ll discuss the plight of the dead. We hear too little from them.