Sunday, February 10, 2008

It might not be a crappy idea...

David Bullard’s blog about the ANC and their fondness of glorifying the struggle heroes, past and present really got my creative juices flowing. Of course the ANC has all the right in the world to rename streets, cities, airports etc. They are after all the glorious conquerors of apartheid. History will always be written by the victorious.

However, the electorate is under siege. The people have very little to smile about and the ANC leadership is rapidly sliding into disfavour. Something can and should be done about this.

I would herewith like to submit a few ideas to the ANC on how to popularize the current leadership once more. I ask for nothing in return but would not frown upon a presidential pardon coming my way.

Instead of erecting statues at great cost and pissing off people with name changes I would like to suggest the following:

  • · A range of small (approx 5 cm high) lead figurines should be fabricated. This should include the most prominent ANC leaders and the range can later be expanded as dictated by demand.
  • · These figurines should be heavy enough as not to flush away in a toilet and should be made available at every street corner, cafe, supermarket, chain store and exclusive boutique i.e. everywhere. Hell, ownership of at least two figurines should be subsidized as to be made compulsory.
  • · The consumer/electorate can then decide which figurine to place at the bottom of their toilet so that the household can do to it what birds normally do to statues.
  • · The figurines can be changed at regular intervals to ensure that the whole leadership gets a chance to serve at the bottom of the throne.
  • · Toilets in restaurants and other public places must include the full spectrum as to give the patron a free choice. (Go with the flow)

People can then have something to smile about once more.

Even potty training can become fun…”Come honey, do a Manto for mommy.”

During load shedding a phosphorous coated figure of Alec Erwin or Eskom management can take one’s mind off the uncalled for hardship.

On second thoughts…I’m going to patent this idea to be used on all politicians the world over