Shooting the Bull

I have a PhD that served me well over the years. No, not a doctorate but a well developed “Pooh Detector” that acted like a guardian angel and kept me at arms length from objectionable material most of the time. However, I just read an excerpt from “Fit to Govern.”

I never knew so many sophisticated and ambiguous expressions existed.

I’m going get me a copy and read a page every night to help me fall asleep.

As I still struggle with difficult terms in English like “is” and “was” I decided to write my adaptation of “Fit to Govern.”

My effort is not mystifying. All it entails is a comparison between political proficiency (capacity to govern) and marksmanship.

I thus put forward my version of “Fit to Govern”, exemplified by how well the politicians in question can shoot. (My account makes for so much easier reading.)

This is how I see it:

Nelson Mandela — will always be number one sniper to be deployed in the most desperate of situations when one needs to get the job done. He can name his price.

Swedish Politicians — can be left alone as they will hit the target 50% of the time, adhere to safety regulations and spend the rest of the time in meetings discussing the merit of each and every shot fired. They are also very fond of special committees where some more discussing can be done and therefore worth their salaries.

Robert Mugabe — to be terminated with extreme prejudice as he could not hit any target and thus decided to blow up all the shooting ranges. He is still armed. Sulking and sitting in the middle of fuck-all, looking for a target. Name your price to cull this abhorrent viral strain.

Thabo Mbeki — can not be allowed close to any shooting range as he failed the entry exam for eight consecutive years. He is yet to hit a cow’s arse with a double-barrelled shotgun at five feet. And yet he earns almost R 2 million annually.

I thus disagree with Ronald.