Time flies when you’re having fun

Hi,

I’m back.

I wish I had a sexy excuse like participating in a campaign of rolling mass action to bring a dictatorship to its knees forcing it not only to the negotiation table but also towards democratic elections and implementation of basic human rights. Mass-action that includes but is not restricted to; civil-disobedience, consumer boycotts, strikes, stay-aways, protest marches and yes, limited armed action. In effect a low-level civil-war that takes up all of one’s time and keeps one away from cyberspace.

However, I do not have that excuse. I suffered from SAD (winter depression) and also had a major computer crash which made me decide to hell with it all. I thus went into a lazy sulk and could not be bothered to try and network or keep in touch with my friends. (I lost more than 200 gigabyte of music that was not backed up anywhere else. We are talking about 33000 albums so it’s no wonder I’m a bit fed-up. More than 80% of it was old rock and roll that one cannot find anymore.)

Revolutionary activity sounds so much sexier than just goofing off. I’m therefore sticking with participation in mass-action as excuse for my absence.

I made no New Year’s resolutions. Why bother? I gave up both drinking and smoking in 2007 and will not consider celibacy as yet. I will also not make any predictions as its common knowledge that the planet is totally fucked-up by humans who just do not care a rat’s arse about the future. Any prophecy of doom will thus be accurate to some extent.

I will just carry on with my old quest of trying to be as truthful and kind to the woman in my life and try to love my children more. That is an achievable goal and the only one I live by. I’m done with trying to change the world.

I’m also going to try and sell more books. The reason why I blog is to sell books. If you do not have a copy yet, follow these links, and buy the damn thing:

UK and Europe

USA

South Africa

I’m also available on Amazon, Barnes & Noble and numerous others.

With my next post I’ll discuss the plight of the dead. We hear too little from them.

A Suggestion to you Thought Leaders in South Africa

Here's a thought.

Let us start a debate about something that really matters in South Africa. As far as I know the President is not dead nor has he achieved Divine status and thus in need of 3rd party intervention to be able to communicate with his mortal subjects.

He can speak for himself.

As a public servant that gets paid a lot of money he needs to get his head out of his backside and state his case.

I could not care a rat’s arse who is right in this flaming debate about what Thabo Mbeki thinks about AIDS.
It does not matter.
As it now stands it’s a self-serving exercise of promoting books by authors and would be authors alike.

It turned into a competition to see who can quote themselves the most and is not unlike an argument amongst little kids stating: “Ignore him, look at me and how clever I am.”

These self-proclaimed intellectuals (and yes there is proof of that as well) forget that many definitions perceive intellectuals as impervious to propaganda, indoctrination, and self-deception.
By their antics they prove that they are not impervious to self-deception.

The debate I have in mind is something along the lines of 'the plight of the sexually abused children in South Africa.’
Some constructive thoughts on how this monumental problem can be alleviated.

Let us pool all of that brainpower now wasted on RSR and debate about solutions that can be tested and implemented to stop little children from feeling alone, terrified and abandoned by everyone.
Something that can shake the politicians out of their lethargy and make them consider the most vulnerable of the population.

I for one would like to hear where Thabo Mbeki stand on this issue and why the problem is left to underfunded NGO’s and charities.

But like with AIDS it will be left to self-appointed ‘powers behind the throne’ to spell out what Mbeki thinks.

Intellectual or Charlatan?

What makes a person an intellectual?

To us plebs it’s one of those words that you’re sure you know exactly what it means but ultimately, when asked to explain, don’t. I asked a few friends in my local pub what they thought it meant. The responses varied from ‘clever and different’ to ‘clever and trying to get a message across.’ All had romantic connotations with the term and conjured up images of Soviet dissidents and other opinion formers that brought about change to society. To my friends the term implies ‘somebody clever that tries to bring about change for the good.’ They also defined it as someone with a superior intellect. When asked to explain how this intellect is measured they were all at loss for an answer.

According to Wikipedia, which I will quote generously, “an intellectual is one who tries to use his or her intellect to work, study, reflect, speculate, or ask and answer questions about a wide variety of different ideas.”

This definition seemed a bit too all-inclusive so I delved further.

‘The expression “man of letters”, has been used in many cultures to describe contemporary intellectuals. The term implied a distinction between those "who knew their letters" and those who did not. The distinction thus had great weight when literacy was not widespread.’

So with literacy now widespread and the ability to express oneself with the written word thus of not such a great distinction, the question remains: How can we conclude someone is an intellectual?

Clearly the ability to string ambiguous and important sounding sentences together does not automatically qualify one as an intellectual. Not anymore. I would venture that the opposite is true because anyone with some form of intellect will take into consideration the level on which people communicate and thus adapt the style of writing to be understood by all. Charlatans use indistinct terminology to masquerade as something they are not; using words as the magician uses props. Safe in the knowledge that most who do not really understand will subconsciously categorize it as something too clever for them and consequently something they will not voice their opinion about because it can, and will, expose their ignorance.

I guess what I’m saying is that the ability to bullshit does not automatically equate to intellect. It just makes for more entertainment when the bullshitter happens to be intelligent as well.

Nowhere does any definition describe the term intellectual as someone who ridicules those who are not considered intellectuals or those that disagree with them. Yet this seems to be something that’s often a prominent feature amongst the self-appointed intellectuals.

This brings me to Ronald Suresh Roberts.

Is he an intellectual, charlatan or both?

When will he move on to become the self-appointed ‘power behind the throne’ in yet another third world country and where will this be?

Will he go down in history as an intellectual that my grandchildren will learn about at school?

I shudder at the thought.

“In many definitions, intellectuals are perceived as impervious to propaganda, indoctrination, and self-deception.”

That Ronnie is not.

I will rather go with the Dutch definition of an intellectual as someone who has ‘unrealistic visions of the world,’ or the Hungarian one as being ‘too clever’ or an ‘egg-head.’

It just seems more applicable in this case.

SAD Can Kill You

I need to explain why I have been so quiet of late

I’ve been living in the Northern hemisphere for more than five years now. Winters with snow were a novelty for a Boertjie from the Southern tip of Africa. So what if it gets minus 25 degrees Celsius? You can dress up warm and don’t have to be out in the elements for more than a few minutes at a time. That however, wears off and after four winters one begins to swear along with the rest the moment it starts getting colder.

Sweden has the highest suicide rate in the world. A lot of people scoff at this and blame it on Swedish efficiency i.e. Sweden was the first country in the world that kept statistics of suicides. The rest of the world is only starting to wake up now and their records thus not as up to date as the Swedes.

Another reason put forward for the high suicide figures is SAD. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) A terrible depression brought on by the lack of daylight. Over and above the feeling of utter worthlessness one struggles to get out of bed and have absolutely no energy. Typing one line on a computer seems to be just too much effort and thus do not materialize.

Fortunately the treatment for this disorder is simple and fast. Light therapy is effective in 85% of diagnosed cases within four days. What it entails is one to two hours exposure per day to a light source with at least ten times the intensity of ordinary domestic lighting. One sits about three feet away from the box housing these lights and can carry on with tasks like reading or writing. Staring directly into the light is not necessary but also not harmful to the eyes.

Unfortunately the diagnoses for this disorder are not so straight-forward. Primarily because the symptoms include misery, guilt and loss of self-esteem and are thus slow to be acknowledged by the afflicted. Avoidance of social contact is also very common.

SAD hit me about a week ago and I can vouch for its destructive capabilities.

A few more treatments to light and I will be back to my normal revolting self again.

I Am Blessed

I am one lucky bastard. So far this month I’ve won the e-mail lottery for seven different countries. They just keep on rolling in. I’ve lost track of my winnings and need to start claiming as my winning tickets will expire soon. I am worth millions!

Over and above my lottery winnings (that I never bought a ticket for) my honesty and secrecy started paying off as well. No less than four widows of prominent African leaders have approached me to help out with a financial venture. I can not share the details because of a confidentiality clause but rest assured that I’m going to get a bumper sticker that reads: “fuck the poor”

I’m going to spend some of my winnings to have my penis enlarged. I think I’ll buy treatment for enough sessions to gain about 30 cms in length. I don’t want to be greedy and don’t need more. I will also buy up all the Viagra and Cialis stocks available on the market. I will use this monopoly to boost my retirement fund.

Do people really fall for these e-mail scams? Someone must. Why else will they still be in circulation?

F#¤&!$G Applications on Facebook

Pox on the next one that sends me an invitation to another useless shitty application on Facebook.

May the fleas of a thousand camels seek refuge in your pubic hair!

May your fingers turn into fish-hooks and may you develop an unbearable itch in your crotch!

Get the message?

Enough with this crap!

I do not need to be invited to the application to; “kick a friend in the goonads and then hold him down to search for blackheads on his arse.”

If you want to send me drinks then use PayPal. Either directly to me or to my local. I will gladly forward you the particulars.

Jösses people!

Grow up!

You do not need an application to tell someone you love and miss them.

Remember words?

Use them.

An Attempt at Prayer

Hi God,

I’m new at this prayer business so bear with my efforts. I do not believe in any form of religion so I can not go and ask for advice at places of worship. I do however believe in a Creator (You). In my quest to do this right I did do a search on the web for examples of prayers. I found various sites sporting prayers and letters to you and your son. Most were preposterous pleadings for help and I can not bring myself to believe that, that is what you want to hear. I will thus state my case in my normal manner and hope it meets with your approval.

How are things with the universe and all of that quantum physics that makes it work? Rather you than me because maths was never my strongest subject at school and I find black-holes as well time-worms if not boring somewhat frightening. Supernovas and all of that exploding as well as imploding is more my style. Give me a good chunk of anti-matter any day and you’ll see what happens to my enemies.

Please accept my belated congratulations. Creation is truly an amazing achievement. I have to ask this; how did you come up with the idea? I mean it’s not like you went on holiday and saw it somewhere else and decided to copy it. Please share your thought process at the time as I truly enjoy and appreciate a creative and gifted mind. While I’m on the topic, have you got a video or colour photograph of the Big Bang? Even an artist impression of the real thing would do. I am desperate to get a poster size print for my study. Kindly let me have the link where one can place orders. (I have tried Google and the Vatican website with no success.)

You will notice that I write to you directly as I’m of the opinion that the buck gets passed too often on this planet. I therefore ignore your Son and his Mother. As I very seldom approach them I don’t think they’ll mind. I also do not blame them, like people I know, when things go wrong. I do not really have a working relationship with them. I hope they’ll understand.

I need to get a few things off my chest. I realise that I should pretend that you know about these activities because religion will have us believe that you are omnipotent and know what is happening everywhere all the time. However, lack of action on your behalf leads me to believe that your PR department has screwed up in informing you about certain events. I thus volunteer to act as one of your sources and will henceforth, on a regular basis, compile and send you an intelligence summary as to ensure that the incidents I care about have been brought to your attention. In the process I will point out aspects where action is long overdue. Kindly ignore my suggestions if you have other eternal plans that I can not comprehend. Mine will always be only suggestions.

As this is a new initiative I will address only one problem with this communiqué. Future efforts might cover more than one.

I would now like to turn your attention to a breed of people called politicians. I have a serious problem with them and am sure you will have as well once you’ve taken all the facts into consideration. These people wage war in your name and generally just screw up everything they get into touch with. (You probably have it all on file and just need to read up about it.) Quite frankly, I can not understand why you do not make at least one combust spontaneously every week or so. They really do deserve it.

Consider simultaneous detonation of their capillaries and have them bleed from eyes, ears and nose, one a week, on live international television. CNN should do the trick. Not only will this act as deterrent for all of those idiots using your name in vain but it will also be entertaining for us mortals who have to suffer under these people. I do not want to dictate what your priorities should be and also realise that a lot of people will disagree but in my humble opinion you can ignore George W Bush for the time being and start on the politicians of Southern Africa. Robert Mugabe to be more specific, closely followed by the ANC ones who are killing their electorate with incompetence. Thereafter you can turn your attention to the bigger picture.

Once the politicians have been dealt with you can start on other pressing issues. I will endeavour to list a few in future communications. The interaction between “men of the cloth” and choirboys come to mind. I will however deal with that later.

On a lighter note; about nine months ago I’ve also managed to walk on water.
Only here we call it ice.
Haha!
Sorry.
I realise my attempts at humour will always be a bit crass and of the barrack-room variety.

Your humble servant.

Gerrie (The guy that moved to Sweden)